A custom roast song built from real evidence
A roast song is an original, fully produced track that immortalises someone's worst decisions in a genre they cannot escape. Written from your material, from $79, delivered in 2–5 business days.
Two real roast commissions:
What makes a roast song work
Detail. A song that says someone is lazy is not funny. A song that names the four-day diet, the flat tyre they drove on for a month, and the exact time they locked everyone out of the Airbnb is very funny — because everyone in the room recognises it instantly.
Send us:
- Three to five specific incidents, with dates or places if you have them.
- Direct quotes — things they actually say.
- Their most defended opinion.
- Who else is in the story, and what they are called.
- Anything genuinely off-limits.
Choosing the genre for maximum damage
Genre is half the joke. A dramatic power ballad about a parking dispute, a hip-hop track about someone's cooking, an orchestral lament for a lost house key. Pop, Hip-Hop, Country and Musical Theatre are the usual suspects — tell us which humiliation you have in mind.
Where roast songs get played
Milestone birthdays, leaving parties, stag and hen weekends, retirement dinners, and weddings where the best man wants an unfair advantage. Give us the date and the venue so we know how loud and how long to make it.
Real production, not a joke recording
The song is written and produced properly — that is why it lands. It arrives as a high-quality MP3, and Premium adds WAV stems, up to 5 minutes, 3 revisions and priority delivery. The rights are yours.
The three packages
Commission your song — checkout opens your private song brief immediately after payment.
Frequently asked questions
How brutal can a roast song be?
As brutal as you tell us to be, within reason. You set the limits in the brief, including any subject that is strictly off the table.
What makes a roast song land?
Specifics. Real incidents, real quotes, real habits. Vague insults are not funny; the parking ticket, the group chat, the locked door are.
Can a group commission one together?
Yes. Gather everyone's best material into one brief and we build a single song from the strongest bits.
Can it end on a sincere note?
That is the most popular structure: three verses of ridicule, then one honest line at the end that changes the room.
How fast can we get it?
Premium is delivered in 2 business days on the priority queue, Standard in 3, Starter in 5.
Put it on the record, permanently
Send us the incident. We will make sure it is never forgotten.
Commission a roast song